Love Advice.

so, let's say you're talking to someone. your true love. and you have major trust issues. and this person knows it and tells you they have a lot of trust issues too and that they will NEVER, EVER lie to you.

so you know this person who is in LOVE with your true love and has already told you that they will stop at nothing to be with them. and you've come to find that your true love tells this person "awwwwww" all the time and things like "you're cute". but tells you that they are saying it just to make them feel better about themself because they have low self esteem.

anyway, then, let's say, one morning, after knowing the kind of things your true love says to this person, you get online and see that they are both signed in, which almost never happens at the same time, at least, where you can see it and as far as you know because you trust your true love with all of your heart.

and when you ask your true love if they are talking to this person, they say "just talking to you." would you believe that? so you just kinda sit there for a minute and don't really say much and then ask them what they are doing because they sound busy, they admit that they are talking to this person and they say they didn't tell you because they didn't want you to get upset.

now, which is more upsetting? that they are talking to this person or that they lied about it and tried to hide it?

the fact that they can lie to you even though they've sworn to never do it because they know you have trust issues and have told you that they do too.

right?

so then you are hurt and are trying to get that across and they tell you they are being ridiculous and saying things like "it's not like i lied, i just didn't tell the whole truth" and tell you that you are overreacting when you say "one lie leads to another" and "how do i know you haven't lied before and won't do it again?"

and they refuse to apologize. no matter how little it was, it was big to you. they refuse to admit they lied and they call you a nazi and "lol" at you.

i'm usually great at giving love advice, but i just can't seem to help him out. one of you do it, he's so distraught right now.

I have a feel of where you are coming from, but trust is just a personal problem is shared between two people...love is about taking risk and knowing what risks can cause..for example when you saw that both your love and that person were online and you still went ahead and asked if they were talking to the other person, you risked finding out the truth...it hurt only because you knew they were, but had hopes that they didnt...

also, I have had trust issues before, not coming from me ofcourse, one thing that needs to be understood between relationships is that there should some discussion about trust, and not that you did it wrong or useless (because you have talked about trust), but the conversation should not be PROMISE ME YOU WILL NEVER LIE TO ME etc...because deep down, we are humans and lying is one of our natural instincts...

trust is not the same as telling the truth...trust is something that you have give to someone else...honesty is tell me the truth do not lie...people tend to get those two things cofused, trust doesnt mean people will not lie, honesty means people will not lie...

i have a boyfriend (go gay people) and he is probably the sweetest guy out there, but have had talks about trust...i do not tell him who to talk to, and it does not upset me when I see him talking to this guy that likes him, why because we talk all the time about trust and honesty...we have built a relationship where we will can openly share things without hurting one another...

it works for me for example two days ago he was online, chatting with the other guy, I asked him WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO LATE, I knew if he told me that he was talking to the other guy it would be a big slap in the face, but I asked which meant i risked myself, he replied TALKING TO _______.

it did sting but after me and him started talking i really felt like i was getting more attention than the other guy...

i have to admit there have been times aswell that I was making him question our trust, but it is something we can talk about...its like talking about what movie to see at the theatre, or what time to show up to school....its a topic that needs to be so easy to open up and just discuss...that will build a healthy relationship...

Jonny <3

Don't let this little thing stop you from being with him. You guys have waaaay too much history to throw this away.

My boyfriend did the EXACT same thing last night. He was texting someone but refused to show me, and it turns out it was this girl I don't think. And I was kind of just like, "I don't care if you are talking to her, just tell me." (Which I assume is the same situation you were in).

He was just trying to avoid conflict by not telling you, but then felt guilty about it. He loves you very much Jonny, just trust him