Weird/Interesting/Stupid Things You've Done Today!

What it says!

1. Smelled a can of orange concentrate
2. Roleplayed as a sexually frustrated tree
3. Embarrassed myself by getting distracted by this dude who kept making crude masturbation jokes about TV shows. Eventually he told me why he masturbated to the show and I agreed that "I see why one might do it because of that" when someone showed me pictures of the cast. Then he admitted that he doesn't do it at all and was just messing with me. Now I feel like an idiot. xD
4. Put 3 eggs in my ramen. Cholesterol FTW.
5. Drew stickypeople of INTM Cycle 1 (available in Connan's old drawing thread)
6. Lap danced the place where my dining room table used to be before it got taken out temporarily tonight
7. Failed at moving extracted DNA into a PCR tube (virtual labs )
8. Talked to myself
9. Turned off 3 light switches before finding the right one
10. Wandered around aimlessly outside, unsure of what I was supposed to be doing

1. Trod cat shit all over the house
2. Ate a nectarine
3. Did the laundry three times in one day
4. Stood in a queue for half an hour and realised I was in the wrong building
5. Got strangled by Jono
6. Put a severed head in a shoe box

AHAHAHA.

Your life is so much cooler than mine.

I could just imagine you impressionably standing in line, so blissfully unaware, and then suddenly - shiz. This is the wrong F%^&ING PLACE. And the wrong place was the cat kennel. And Jono is all, "Step outside, Mister! You are not setting foot on this carpet with that cat crap all over your shoes! Clean off and then go do the laundry! Also, I bought some nectarines. You can have one after you're all done."

I'm more inclined to believe number 5 than 6.

they're all true
5 is just crossed out because it's too normal to be in the list, it's everyday life for me
i should have a campaign about me and how jono sabotages and beats me
and
my mum ran in and was like
AVESS NOT HERE
and i was like
great mum
now everyone knows i'm a dickin' idiot

my friend kicked the head off her neighbor's stone statue (so she says)
and i painted it bloody with blooody eyes and nose and bloody neckstump
her name is

LT. JOSEPHINE CHINNY

her chin crumbled

1. I had a long, loud conversation at dinner about barnacle penises and the cumbersomeness of boobs.
2. I used Paint for an hour. Fuck Paint.
3. I went to a 40's in 40 (40 ounces in 40 minutes) at 4:40 party and DIDNT drink anything because i don't have any money.
4. I gave myself a haircut.
5. I went up an elevator with my professor to help her carry laptops and then I got lost and couldn't find the elevator again so I just went down the stairs.

cozy you're breaking my neck! get off my roof cozy! shit in a box!!! LINDSAY! NO! TUT!

"AVESS NOT HERE"

Hahahaha. That's so perfect.

Nooo, don't believe it. Statues don't have blood vessels. I will not be moved.

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Tell your friends to try that same party during a solar eclipse! And have the 40th ounce right when the sun is covered! Apparently an eclipse is coming really soon, but only visibly to Africa and Asia.

xDD I want to eat dinner at your house now. My family gets mad if I sing at the table. Or bite my nails.

Download Paint.NET! It has pretty gradient crap!

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Who's Lindsay?

lindsay is cozy FOOL and the length of the title for this topic must be ranging between 10 and 255 characters apparantly

You tryin' to amend my title, bish?

no

Oh, okay!

<3

well it wasn't at my house, it was in the lunchroom at school. But dinner at home is like that too. Mama gets all offended and grossed out, but I think she secretly likes it. Here's an example:

Me: Angie, move your vagina it's in my way.
Angie: Oh you know you like it.
Me: Nuh-uh. Look at my penis. It's all floppy. Not liking it.
Angie: You're just jealous.
Me: Of what? Your lack-of-ass? You poop out of a small hole at the end of your spine.
Mama:......eh.......(*secretly entertained*)

You poop out of a small hole at the end of your spine.

That's so epic! My visualization of the human anatomy will be jacked up now because of it, but, lol.

Hehe, my mom has the whole secretly entertained thing going on as well. I'll shake my bootie (spinal hole?) around the house and she'll act like I'm a lesser form of human who should have better things to do, but then she'll burst out laughing.

@Avess: I read what you typed and thought you said "cool" instead of "Cozy", but now I get it. I can't read, it's sad. Just letting you know that I now know what you didn't know I didn't already know in the first place. But "cool" and "Cozy" are synonyms, so I was on the right track.

I had coffee with a friend today. She went to a coffee bean shop before hand and she swore and asked the guy working there if he was gay and he gave her a bible and told her to read it and said he only gives it to "special" people. Aka people who need to "be saved" haha

When i met her she was like "i have to get rid of this bible"

so we wrote a note on the inside of the bible saying stuff about how this guy should embrace his sexuality and we included our gay friend's email and told him to look him up on fb and that jesus wouldnt be able to see everything, especially not internet text haha. then we put a quote from the bible, one about jonothan and some other guy who were banging and who said their love could not be replaced by the love of a woman then we dropped it back it the coffee bean shop.

and ran haha

GYAH. I guess you guys have epic lives because you make them epic.

I'll bet that man was very confused. No pun intended. Now he doesn't know how he likes his coffee. :/

But I can just imagine that playing out in my head as part of a famous YouTube skit or something! For real. Having life be that full of win without consequence is just staggering.

jesus wouldnt be able to see everything, especially not internet text

Should have told him that Jesus was not conceived by heterosexual means. Technically, He wasn't. And He has too many FB friends to worry about whether some coffee shop guy wants to put a straw in his cappuccino latte and suck on it.

Or she should have waited about a week, ripped out the page about homosexuality and then given it back to him perfectly intact otherwise, convincing him of her "revelations". Plus, "testaments" would be changed to "testesments" in just one random spot

In short, you guys are awesome and should put stuff like this on YouTube whenever you go around doing it.

We would be like mini Chaser! If you dont know who they are, shame on you!!

They are a group of guys who made a tv show about pulling religious and political comedic stunts, along with other little public stints. They got arrested for dressing up as osama bin laden and getting through security near george bushes apartment complex during the apec summit:



More relevant to what I was talking about before:

Eek, shame on me! I haven't heard of them until now!

"It does beg the question, 'If someone as stupid as George Bush can get a seat at the APEC table to discuss the war on terror, then shouldn't we open it up to all the key players in world terror, like, Osama Bin Laden?'"

Makes it hard to argue when he puts it that way. xD

"Are we stopping?" "No, you're fine to go through." The only place that should be that way is a toll road! Now that would make the world a better place.

"You can do what you want, matey." "The road's yours." Wow.

Haha, and did they just arrest an officer or something? Fail...

As an agnostic, I am offended! Rawr! Lol...

"Whoever curses his father or his mother is to be put to death!" Duuude. I'd so be dead right now.

"This is why these hunchbacked dwarf priests are roaming our streets!" Hahaha.

I totally love these guys now!