Avess, His Highness - Emphasis on the High!

once upon a little time a go, in the days of yore
there was a girl called me and a girl called Alli Hart
and they were at a slumber party and there was girls and chips and dips and hips and pips, they were eating fruit
and in the fruit, well, one fruit, piece of fruit
a pear
there was a sandworm
and girl kazara said
you are a sandworm not a pearworm
and he said

ahh, but this, nevermind, listen girl kazara you must take this pear and flush it down the toilet NOW
so, girl kazara ditched the slumber party like the stupid whore she is and flushed the pear down the loo, being the walk-over-twat-face she is and she passed out!

when she awoke from her unwilled slumber she was on an island, and the sandworm had dug into the sand and slithered away and kazara said

oh, yes, now this makes sense, you ARE a sandworm, just a magic shandworm, i mean sandworm, i had sand in my teeth, you just teleported into my pear to tell me to flush the toilet so i could come here! alas there was no reply because the sandpearworm had slithered away and was busy copulating with his brothers and sisters.

kazara looked up at the beautiful land she had landed on and this land was indeed a beautiful land. when she had landed the land had made her dress muddy so she cried. her teardroplet fell into the sand and a sapling grew and grew til it was 34 centimetres tall. kazara was in shock. to herself, and only to herself, she thought "are my tears this powerful?"

HELLO NAVY JOHNS! boomed a voice from not to far away. she looked up and gasped.

to be continued, tomorrow.

it donged on me

but two dongs do make a night Wink

girl kazara saw a boat on the near horizon of what appeared to be a boat constructed from recycled plastic of german margerine boxes. not the east indian ones that make people close their eyes.
I'M HERE PLEASE SAVE ME shouted girl kazara, she screamed and gasped and waved her hands
she stepped back for a moment and thought to herself... and only to herself, did she really want to be rescued? really did she really? did she know? she somewhat did. but she did not also, as this was a show somewhat. maybe this warm island was a retreat, a place where she needed to be alone to collect her thoughts and memories and reflect on her life post the toilet bowl, before and ever much so before!
she looked at the sapling. it had turded so she ran forth to the shallow waters, not caring that her clothes were now wet or that the orange and pink corals were slicing her feet, chunk by chunk.

HELLO!

girl kazara or what i referred to as girl Alli Hart perhaps, ALLI HART looked up. a gleaming man made of bronze and other assorted copper-coloured metals stood on the deck of this magnificent plastic and acrylic ship. the sails were made from snails. well, snail shells. whole, fleshy snails would not catch the wind well as they would be fart too, excuse me, i mean far too heavy to catch the wind well as they would be far to heavy to catch the wind well. just snail shells, and as the summer breeze blew through them, a beautiful yet alien whistling sound was produced. it made her knees knock.

HELLO GIRL KAZARA! HOP ON BOARD! yelled this metal man as he threw a thick rope ladder over the side of the ship.
girly kazara looked at him in his beaded, yet handsome eyes and opened her mouth to reply with a reply.
HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? she started with.
and also, how do i not know you are safe my main man? boss?
AND ALSO, as you live on the brine style sea, i presume, how do you not go wet and turn a nasty shade of aquamarine?

there was a loud bang from behind kazara, and both herself and the bronze captain gasped. kazara turned around...

whole, fleshy snails would not catch the wind well as they would be fart too, excuse me, i mean far too heavy to catch the wind well as they would be far to heavy to catch the wind well

Meanwhile, the rest of the slumber party gang had heard a hollow banging noise against the thick porcelain of the toilet seat and went to go check it out because something might have damaged it and then tried to use the misshapen loo, thus making a smelly mess.
Avess was the first to enter.
"Oh, it's just Kazara passed out against the toilet seat. But I think there's a pear flushed down it," he explained, waving the others away and stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
"A pair of what?" asked Leigh.
"No, a pear! Like the fruit! Like you, you fruit!" Avess snapped with an edge of spurning malice in his tone.
"Well, you'd better get it out. How did that pear even flush?" Leigh asked, pointedly addressing Avess' insult by stealing the popcorn trapped in Avess' other fist.
"Did it flush with toilet lube?" Avess wondered aloud.
"I don't know! Just fish the pear out! It's still stuck if you can see it, right?"
"Kazara's head seems partially cracked open," another partygoer noted. "Maybe there's candy!"
"We don't eat candy. We eat fruit. It helps you poop. And apparently Leigh here wants to eat poopy toilet fruit." Avess answered, gazing at his reflection in the toilet bowl.
"I don't want to eat it, but I have to use the restroom! So get the pear and Kazara out of here!" Fuming, Leigh paced in the cramped space, accidentally hitting his shin on the bathroom cabinet.
"Hey, I hear something!" Avess' mouth dropped and he went rigid, trying to form more words but only able to make a desparate hand motion to usher everyone out of the bathroom.
"Someone's in our shower!" he yelped while running to the fruit-filled livingroom.
"Are you sure it's not just Finchie again?" Leigh asked.
"Finches don't make those noises! It was much creepier," Avess said, shaking his head as fear baked slowly in his nerves and weaved its way hotly up his throat.
"And now I have to go throw up! And there's a stranger in the bathroom!" Avess said, clutching his stomach.
"What, eat some bad papayas?" Leigh asked sarcastically.
Avess ignored him and, hunched over and limping, made his way to the bathroom. Each step further made him exponentially sicker. He remembered what Tyra had said, to model through stomach cramps, and so he made his way, closer, closer to the half-open bathroom door as shadows of the television flickered like flames down the otherwise dark hallway. He opened the door, and...

To be continued!